My nose is ever so slightly runny and my throat is ever so slightly tickly/burny. Just enough to be annoying, but not enough to make me feel truly sick. And I'm so goddamn tired. I could put my head down on my desk right now and go straight to sleep. Ever since my delayed flight on Sunday night, I've been feeling really wiped out. I just haven't been sleeping very well.

Oh that reminds me, during take off on Tuesday, you know the part where you're hurtling down the runway? I noticed the guy across the isle from me do the sign of the cross on his chest and then kiss his finger tips. I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT! That's like jinxing the entire sky.

I was thinking of doing a photo-a-day project. Even if it's just with my camera phone (I got a 2gb memory card for it). But what would I take pictures of? And I'd get sick of downloading photos from my phone every day. Maybe I could download and post a weeks worth of photos at a time? We'll see.

This has to be my one of favoritest Seinfelds.


"Hey George, the ocean called, they're running out of shrimp."


"The line is JERK STORE! I'm going with JERK STORE.

JERK STORE!"

So here's how my flight went.

I got to the airport at 6:20. Flight was supposed to be at 7:35 but was already delayed to 8:05 when I got there. Then 8:45. The plane is still in Erie. Then 9:11. Finally they load us on around 9:15. Then we sat on the runway until about 10:15. Got down here around 11:15, got a rental car and a gps unit. The gps unit kept saying "not found" for everything I tried to do. So I sat in the car for 15 minutes cursing at the gps. It finally started working. Then it got confused because the roads around the aiport are new. It showed me driving on nothing. Then it told me to go east but said west on the screen, which I noticed after driving in a big circle for about 20 minutes, and ended up back at the airport. Whatever. I finally got to the hotel around 12:30. Didn't go to sleep until about 2:30, woke up at least 3 times during the night, and up at 7:30 for shower and breakfast. I was staaarving.

So I get to the office before 9, sign in and everything. Me and the gal from ny are taken into a conference room where there's 3 other people, who are programmers that I've never met before. One other woman is there, but she seemed to be mostly overseeing what was going on. Then the W-S practice leader comes down and informs us that the 3 people we've been working with on the webteam won't even be coming to this fucking training. One called out sick, one is on vacation and the other handed in his resignation. So he surely could care less about what we're doing. Training was supposed to start at 9, but the woman doing the training lost the directions, broke her phone, didn't have passwords, got to the office late... So we started closer to 10. During the introduction period I said "Hi I'm Michele, I'm new to this process and don't really know why I'm here" HOO HAH! Oh and I'm the only one with a 832 pound laptop bag. Beautiful.

I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be learning. It's a pretty self explanatory tool, it's not difficult, but nobody explained to me what I'm going to be doing with it. This all could have been done via webcast as well, which would have saved the company money and me a lot of unnecessary aggrivation.

And I dropped half of my lunch in the hallway. I AM SO AWESOME!!!

At least we were done early today. And I swear to god, my flight better be on time tomorrow.

I'm sitting in the Philadelphia airport. I'm supposed to be on the plane already, getting ready to take off. Of course that didn't happen. They just made an announcement that our plane is still in Erie, PA. Seriously? They don't have any other planes to use? As of right now, the flight is supposed to be leaving at 8:45 [9:11 arhahfrhaghh]. God only knows what time I'll actually get out of here. So sick of flying for work.

Oh and the awesome airport wifi keeps kicking me off about, oh, every 22 seconds or so. Fantastic.

I am on teh facebook now you guys!

Although, I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with it.

Since my company is stealing part of my weekend from me (I have to fly to Winston Salem on Sunday afternoon), I'm taking tomorrow off to chill. Well, maybe that and do some cleaning. And I might forget to charge vacation time for it since I'm basically going to put in a full work day for them on Sunday. This is going to be the worst trip yet because I have to lug along my laptop, and the bag alone weighs about 438 pounds. Plus I have to take it out to be examined during my cavity search at the security checkpoint. UGH UGH UGH.

Since I had a shitty day yesterday, I decided to go shopping for clothes after work. I badly needed a pair of black pants anyway. And some work shirts. I ended up buying a few pairs of pants, two sizes smaller than the size I was when I started going to the gym! HURRAH! The only reason I tried on the smaller size is because I was looking on the clearance rack which of course had EVERY size except for the one I thought was my current size (one down from the original), so I took the next size down from that and was like "I'll see what happens" and they actually fit. I also went down a size in shirts. So I bought a bunch since they were all on sale. I felt really bad about spending so much money, but thought "Hey, it's not like I spent that money on crack. I NEED clothes!" and then also remembered that I still have to list my old iBook on ebay. Anybody want to buy a 6 year old iBook?

I'm eating Nutella off a spoon and listening to Joy Division.

If I passed out right now, hit my head on my desk and fell on the floor, no one would know. There is nobody here! I am sooooo bored. And I could possibly die right on the floor of my cube and not be discovered for hours!!!

Duh, I almost forgot.

a few photos from Martha's Vineyard

My new boss bought snacks for the entire company. Bags of pretzels, string cheese (?), animal crackers, granola, etc. This afternoon the building management is providing ice cream. The big boss is out today. Everyone is excited. So I just waved to a bunch of coworkers standing down the hall with a smile on my face. One of them said "Oh my god, even Michele is smiling!"

Of course. I'm eating ZOO CRACKERS for god's sake. I'll skip the ice cream though. Too much dairy.

jonthedull and I are back from Martha's Vineyard. Maybe tonight I will get some photos uploaded.

This fun thing happened when I was driving home yesterday:



ALL 2's ON THE ODOMETER!
I don't know why I'm so fascinated by that. And yes, I slowed down to 70mph to take that photo. Is that as bad as texting while driving? (I don't do that) At least I only had to push one button to take the picture.


Confession: I just stuffed myself with two giant pieces of cake.

Oh my god there's some old guy that sits diagonally across from me now. Apparently his job is to talk on the phone all day. Loudly. With a speech impediment. He sits back in a corner with file cabinets next to his cube, which only serve as a surface to bounce the sound all over the place. It's like an amplified version of Charlie Brown's teacher. Good lord.

My cube used to be kind of alone, on a corner next to some file cabinets. The cubes behind me were always empty. The cube across the hall from me was always empty.

Now that we're all crammed onto one floor with smaller cubes, there's people EVERYwhere around me. And their coworkers are coming and standing by their cubes asking how they like their new spot and are chatting it up in the hallway.

The guy across the hallway from me is younger, and I guess what some might consider to be "cute", although a little too delicate if you ask me. So his gal pals keep stopping by. The one's face just irritates the shit out of me. She reminds me of a Lindsay Lohan, except that her hair is always slicked back into a ponytail. You know, the crispy, lacquered, shiny hair ponytail? UGH.

Torture.

Today I sold my house. I no longer know the joys of home ownership. It's kind of freeing actually. I "worked from home" most of the day, sat on the sofa, and felt absolutely no responsibility to do anything, whatsoever. Once the settlement check clears, I will pay off all my debt and it will be OMGYESFANTASTIC!1!!11!!

Also, just a while ago, I had a craving for pizza. I didn't have any cash on hand to have a pizza delivered. I could have gone out but it's oh so hot. So I ordered and paid for a pizza on the internet. To be delivered. My level of laziness has reached astounding new heights. God bless teh interwebs.

It's been about 3 weeks since I've posted. Let's see, what's been going on?

Well, I discovered that the ground floor of my building is a lot like hell's jungle. Jon and I went down there just to see what it's like and we nearly suffocated from the heat. There's a laundry area down there (one washer and one dryer for 12 apartments. nice.) and I guess the dryer doesn't vent outside. It was swelteringly hot and the walls were moist. Gross. People LIVE down there. I'll continue using the laundromat thanks.

I live a few miles from a meat packing plant now :( So every single morning on the way to work, I pass at least 3 trucks loaded with pigs going to the plant. It freaks me out every day. Poor piggies :(

We're supposed to be closing on the house on Monday. FINALLY. Of course the ex made everything confusing by choosing his own bank instead of the one the realtor uses and never told the new bank that we were using a realtor. They assumed it was a transfer. So he called me last night and basically blamed me for having to pay a realtor fee because his "broker" keeps telling him that we could have done this for $200. Hey buddy, this is a regular sale. I'm not signing the mortgage over to you. I'm selling you the house like any other person. Now he says the realtor (the very same realtor he used to sell his own house) is a con artist. Yeah, he's a con artist because he's charging us a fee (1% each) for his service. Jesus christ on a crutch. I will be SO GLAD when this is done.

And I'm pretty sure the people in the NY office are suffering from some sort of brain dysfunction.

So yesterday I go into the bathroom here at work, and some girl is looking at herself in the mirror. We say hello and I go into a stall. I hear her leave and one of the construction guys say "Is anyone else in there?" (Our office is being reconfigured--we got smaller cubes). And she goes "No, I was the only one in there. I think."

*blink blink*

Then she sticks her head in the bathroom door from the little vestibule area and goes "Is there anyone in here?"

And I say "YES" in a way that denotes "Yeah, asshole, we just said hello two seconds ago".

She goes back out and I hear her say "No, I was the only one in there".

OMGWTF!?!?!
1. We JUST said hello
2. There was a CLOSED stall door!!!
3. Are you completely deaf? I said YES someone is in here!

So some dudes come in the bathroom, WHILE I'M ON THE TOILET, and start doing something to the ceiling. They're looking for some wire or something. Yep, there it is, there it is. Alright, tell him it's here.

Then one of them goes "I wonder if someone is in here. That door is closed."
YES SOMEONE IS IN HERE! I decided not to say anything since it sounded like they were leaving. And how fucking awkward would that have been? Yes, I'm on the toilet and you two dudes are two feet away from me.

Do I live in a sitcom???

PS: The New Girl shocked and astounded me by being here today. Her car wouldn't start for two days in a row, and I thought for sure she would be out today since her bf has off thursdays. Maybe she'll take off tomorrow.

I unpacked my last box last night. And a sofa will be delivered Saturday.



Hurrah!

I was in Winston-Salem last night and today. Did you miss me?

Here's a recap:

Shitty rental car
UNhappy hour
Tornadoes
Asshole calling my room at 1:30am
Why did I drink that milkshake? (I'm kind of lactose intolerant)
1.5 day trip for approximately 2.5 hours of training
4 hour delays at the airport
Loud popping sound on plane
Rain and shitty windshield wipers on my car

I think I'm done flying up and down the east coast for work now thanks.

So I was at the laundromat last night and this lady tried to strike up a conversation with me. She reminded me of the kind of person who doesn't get out of the house much. She had a little kid with her, and probably stays at home getting REALLY INVOLVED in soap operas while the kid is at school and her husband is at work (he cooks though! she told me that). So she started complaining loudly how she hated doing laundry and was tired. Then said hello to me. I attract the crazies wherever I go. She then informed me that she would rather be at home working on pictures. Apparently, she likes to take photos of her favorite celebrities and put herself in the pictures. And change the backgrounds. It's fun!

This is the kind of information where you just want to say "Wow, I really wish you didn't tell me that. You probably shouldn't share such disturbing information with strangers". I just said "Mmm. Sounds like fun." and pulled out my phone and pretended like I was busy so she would leave me alone.

Then some other girl came in asking if they had a laundry service because she didn't want to wash her clothes. Yeah there's a laundry service--the washing machine right in front of you. It only takes like an hour to wash and dry your stuff. Sheesh.


PS: I am flying to North Carolina AGAIN at 2:58pm and later tonight will have to endure a "happy hour" with people that I don't even know. Sounds more like an "UNhappy hour" to me.